Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about! Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.
Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
- That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.
- Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!
- Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.
A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.
Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk. Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing?
- But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh, I’ve wasted my life.
- I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.
- Please do not offer my god a peanut.